I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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