i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
