he thought i was a dude.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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