Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
