I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
