Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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