I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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