I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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