I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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