i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
