I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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