That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
