Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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