U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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