She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can I color on your dick again?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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