My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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