I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
