I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
