Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
