i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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