Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
