i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
