Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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