what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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