watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
