She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
