moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
