im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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