I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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