I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
