Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
