I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
