I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
