Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
