It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
