Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
