I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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