it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
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I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
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Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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