he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I take back everything I said about communal showers
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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