rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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