The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
