I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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