The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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