he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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