Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

I want to kish your cheek

(248): View more from Michigan

My cheeks are in Michigan

(301): View more from Maryland

Oh my lips are kind of stretchy

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(909): View more from California

It's Friday. Sex?

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(303): View more from Colorado

GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science

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(972): View more from Texas

The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way

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(609): View more from New Jersey

they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.

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(817): View more from Texas

So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?

(806): View more from Texas

Yes.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!

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