Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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