dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
