did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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