I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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