And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
