you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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