I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
