can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no you cant smoke seaweed
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
