Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
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Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Vodka?
Forever.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
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So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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