ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
