Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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