Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
