yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
try to milk me bitch
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